Veritas

Truth.

“Ignorance is bliss.”

Why do people try so hard to conceal the truth from others? People always say it’s to protect others when really, it’s only to protect themselves. The real reason why anyone avoids telling the truth is because they don’t want to be the cause of hurt or strife; but everyone should just be honest with themselves and realise that the only person they’re protecting is themselves.

“The truth shall set you free.”

Misconceptions.

“Women are fragile and need to be protected.”

Stop making the decisions for us. Stop pretending we’re these frail little creatures that will spend the rest of the week sobbing into our pillows when we hear the truth. Don’t flatter yourselves.

“When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.”

Contradictions.

“She can deadlift heavier than me!”

Then the fear of confidence. What to do with a woman who knows what she wants and won’t apologise for it? What to do with a woman who has ambition and the smarts to back it all up?

“Basically, I took one look at him and realised that my balls were bigger than his, and I’m all woman.”

Here’s a simple guide on how to treat women: Respect. Courtesy. Communication. Honesty. Sincerity. Treat her as you would treat a really good friend, but even better because you want to win her over, don’t you?

Don’t play mind games; we’re not in high school – if you’re keen on mind games, go date someone in high school. Call when you say you will and respond in a timely manner – it’s the 21st century and we’re in the age of smartphones so there’s no excuse here when you can call, text, email, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp or BBM. Do not disappear off the face of the universe and then pop up a month later and expect a warm embrace. Say thank you when you need to and apologise when you’ve been impolite – real men have manners. Don’t be aloof and think you’re better than others; remember, at the end of the day, your shit smells like shit too. Never ever double book; a woman is a human being, not a McDonald’s drive-thru! Be punctual. If you can’t afford to date, please don’t.

And most importantly: Three strikes and you’re out!

It’s like a universal plague of douchebaggery these past few months. My girlfriends and I, who are scattered across the globe by the way, have been dealing with the ultimate losers in the dating scene. I swear, if we collaborated and wrote a book on our dating stories, we’d have a bestseller on our hands. We’ve all been dealing with the lack of communication, the falling off the face of the universe, the great few first dates and then the emergence of the asshole after the third date, the rude pricks who need to be sent to finishing school, the ones who won’t admit defeat, and the men of cowardice who lack integrity.

See men, women are not fragile creatures. We don’t fall madly in love after a few dates because we have standards and we actually have to be won over. So if you don’t want to see a woman anymore, you say, “I had a great time but I don’t think it’ll work out between us. I really hope you’ll find someone who’ll make you happy, and I’d still love for us to be friends” then you leave our lives in a favourable light and MAYBE we’d even hook you up with our other hot single girlfriends because maybe it’d work for you two.

As one of my oldest best friends said to me yesterday, “Men think that we can’t handle the truth but in reality, we just can’t handle not knowing. They should all just man up and tell us the truth so we know where we stand and everyone can move forward.”

Unfortunately, all we’ve dealt with these days are cowards and assholes.

All is not lost when one has quality friends in their life, however. Especially in my case because my friends love food and alcohol, have a nasty sense of humour coupled with the ability to make me laugh at all the unfortunate creatures I’ve been interacting with.

So there’s the silver lining to all the experience I’ve had to gain to bring about the best conversations during our feasts.

Blue Chillies

Blue Chillies, Fitzroy

Malaysian dinner at Blue Chillies. Thrice-cooked Duck, Assam Fish and Ayam Kapitan.

Passionflower

Passionflower, CBD

We seem to end up in Passionflower for dessert a lot. We’re talking at least once a week…

De Clieu

De Clieu, Fitzroy

Brunch on Saturday at De Clieu.

Tom Phat

Tom Phat, Brunswick

Not even half of the dishes at a hugeeeee dinner at Tom Phat. Pork Belly Special, Green Mango Kingfish, and Chilli Caramel Pork Belly. Believe it or not, we had 4 other dishes, and rice and roti with this. Then we went to Passionflower and devoured eight scoops of ice cream.

If there was an eating Olympics, we’d proudly don the gold medal

I have to say that I’m laughing so hard at all the horrible stories that I now have under my belt that I can personally attest to surviving. You can’t say you’ve dated until you’ve had to send your friends an SOS text and receive phone calls where they’re laughing and saying, “Your dog died. Your house is on fire. I’m about to give birth. I just broke up with my boyfriend. LEAVE NOW!” I had to pull an Oscar-worthy performance full of, “No, really?! Where are you? Are you okay? That’s awful! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!”

Truth :)

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6 Comments on “Veritas”

  1. G says:

    Falling off the face of the earth just means he got distracted by another possible venture, then came back when he realised that didn’t work out as plan. Sorry to see that you’ve met a classic prick. ):

    • I’m not sorry! I honestly found all these men to be utterly fascinating because you know, you hear about all these stories but until you get out there and fine tune your douchebag radar, you’ll never figure it out!

  2. Well said!! “Respect. Courtesy. Communication. Honesty. Sincerity.” – completely agree! It’s not that hard.
    Great food too! That Thai food looks insanely delicious!

    • It really isn’t hard. I don’t know how often I hear, “Women don’t know what they want!” but it’s simply not true. Women do know; it’s the men who don’t know what to do with women who do! ;)

      The Thai food was ridiculously good. Actually, each and every one of the places I went to I would happily revisit over and over again. So much good food :)